Secret Place

Every once in a while, we discover something new about ourselves and I recently realized that I want to be in control of the situations in my life. Instead of going with the ebb and flow of life’s daily ups and downs, I want to be sure that I am in the pilot’s seat steering and ensuring that everything goes as planned. That could be the reason why I am often indecisive because I need guarantees and certainties in the choices that I make. I get myself worried and end up going through a thousand hypothetical What-If situations in my head.

And every once in a while, I need a reminder from God. Recently the essence of this revelation is quite the opposite of a ‘revelation’: All the times I’m in a fix, I need not understand the “Why?” behind it but simply have Faith in God. I learnt that it is when I no longer require explanations from God over the situation that I am in that my faith has matured.

Actually, in a weird way, this reminds me of Bentham’s Panopticon: “the machine for dissociating the see/being see dyad: in the peripheric ring, one is totally seen, without ever seeing; the central tower, one sees everything without ever being seen”. We think we are seeing, but we actually don’t see anything beyond the walls of the ‘cell’, we don’t see the bigger picture. On the other hand, we can be seen all the time. Okay, just a loose association...This is what too much Foucault does to the self.