Happy Ending

(Photographs from Charles)

I wrote this poem last year shortly after returning.

I felt silly reading it this morning because it seems that everyone else has long moved on but here I am, feeling that a part of me remains there. Every once in a while, I find myself lapsing into this reminiscent mood, and I ask myself to snap out of it because truly I have no idea what I miss. Everything, and quite possibly, nothing too.

My memory is contained in fragmented sounds, smells and visuals. Father Abraham tune, the air that smells of hot sun, brown clouds of sand trailing the tuktuk, laughter, fragrance of Beef noodles soup, two students standing outside a classroom peering in, shy smiles on their faces, Peter's voice, the smell of freshly laundered clothes, orange sun setting and us caving into a drowsiness before dinner.

I wonder how they are, I can’t remember their names now. Joy. This is the one name I remember after one year because it is the only English name. I guess I could always return, but I'm not sure if want that too. I'm afraid that playing it out again will not match up to how I remember it to be.


Of Knowledge

I know your country is poor.
I do not know the shade of your skin colour.
I have packed sanitary wipes.
I guess poor means dirty.
I slept on the plane,
I must recharge to bring cheer to you.
I guess poor means sad.

This is how you look like, there are so many of you.
In long skirts, long pants and long sleeves,
Are you hot?
It is blazing in you country.
Yet, you bring out your rope of rubber bands,
jump and laugh,
you have examinations tomorrow.

We taught you
past, present and future tense.
You giggled and looked curiously at us,
strange formations at our lips,
unfamiliar sounds and
alien faces.


You taught me about the present when I looked less obscure.
I have a digital camera,
we took a photograph together.
The present is now,
The future is later.
In the same clothes you wear everyday,
you carry a beautiful smile.
I have a big wardrobe at home,
I hate that my shoes are not colour coordinated.
I smile when needed, what is it like to smile
unconsciously,
the way you do.

We held hands and
laughed a lot
when words become sounds that mean nothing.
We like weaving thread around pencils,
running in pools that form after the rain,
I am surprised I am having fun
without my laptop and wireless network.

I look at the candid shot of us in laughter.
My friends and I from our developed country
are to help you and your friends in your less developed country.
I guess you are poor,
I am right.
But all my other guesses were wild and wrong.
In your little hut with no furniture,
you have everything we long for
and need.

Running in circles,
chasing the start point,
not knowing where it is,
or how to get there.
You knew all that already
because the present triumphs the future.
You understood that.