Work-in-Progress

[Hunting for a good quote]

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Happy Ending



(Photographs from Charles)

I wrote this poem last year shortly after returning.

I felt silly reading it this morning because it seems that everyone else has long moved on but here I am, feeling that a part of me remains there. Every once in a while, I find myself lapsing into this reminiscent mood, and I ask myself to snap out of it because truly I have no idea what I miss. Everything, and quite possibly, nothing too.

My memory is contained in fragmented sounds, smells and visuals. Father Abraham tune, the air that smells of hot sun, brown clouds of sand trailing the tuktuk, laughter, fragrance of Beef noodles soup, two students standing outside a classroom peering in, shy smiles on their faces, Peter's voice, the smell of freshly laundered clothes, orange sun setting and us caving into a drowsiness before dinner.

I wonder how they are, I can’t remember their names now. Joy. This is the one name I remember after one year because it is the only English name. I guess I could always return, but I'm not sure if want that too. I'm afraid that playing it out again will not match up to how I remember it to be.


Of Knowledge

I know your country is poor.
I do not know the shade of your skin colour.
I have packed sanitary wipes.
I guess poor means dirty.
I slept on the plane,
I must recharge to bring cheer to you.
I guess poor means sad.

This is how you look like, there are so many of you.
In long skirts, long pants and long sleeves,
Are you hot?
It is blazing in you country.
Yet, you bring out your rope of rubber bands,
jump and laugh,
you have examinations tomorrow.

We taught you
past, present and future tense.
You giggled and looked curiously at us,
strange formations at our lips,
unfamiliar sounds and
alien faces.


You taught me about the present when I looked less obscure.
I have a digital camera,
we took a photograph together.
The present is now,
The future is later.
In the same clothes you wear everyday,
you carry a beautiful smile.
I have a big wardrobe at home,
I hate that my shoes are not colour coordinated.
I smile when needed, what is it like to smile
unconsciously,
the way you do.

We held hands and
laughed a lot
when words become sounds that mean nothing.
We like weaving thread around pencils,
running in pools that form after the rain,
I am surprised I am having fun
without my laptop and wireless network.

I look at the candid shot of us in laughter.
My friends and I from our developed country
are to help you and your friends in your less developed country.
I guess you are poor,
I am right.
But all my other guesses were wild and wrong.
In your little hut with no furniture,
you have everything we long for
and need.

Running in circles,
chasing the start point,
not knowing where it is,
or how to get there.
You knew all that already
because the present triumphs the future.
You understood that.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

i got goosebumps reading your entry, the past is here in the present. i keep seeing those red, red walls. oh don't feel silly remembering, we all need the past to help us see the future:)ml

Charles Sng said...

Thanks for the recall :)

I need that...

And we all need them sometimes :)

Rubber Dust said...

midnight/early morning hunger pangs! i am craving for...prata with condensed milk, egg and chesse, all rolled up... or those pizzas from that shop opposite the prata stall or the rum balls; )

Shanghai Twinning 2013 said...

12 midnight here. i want a morning toast with jam and hot milo. wishing for "chao ta" eggs from lao long. and synchronized diving from 203. not forgetting to knock on neighbour's door - time to wake up!

Rubber Dust said...

haha, well...i cant believe we overslept and not hear u guys knocking and knocking on our door. erm anyway, the eggs were not chao ta ok! and i cooked the rice...which was extremely tasty right??

have a good trip zhihan! when are u guys leaving? maybe we could send u off?

r FLY said...

how beautiful n tender. ah. :)

Mei Ling said...

cheesy!

( and i don't mean your poem ;-) )

So thats what 2000 dollar poems are like.

The beautiful kind that leaves me in awe. I thought lit was all just about Ah Bah's Money ( Catherine Lim)

but a praise from me doesnt me you can pangsei ah!!!!

Rubber Dust said...

hey rachel, thanks for your kind words: )


wah the name chessy is really sticking. sorry sorry i wont pang seh tmr! lib from sunrise till sunset and BEYOND till stars come!!

zhihan said...

we are leaving via coach to KL on the 16th of May 9pm @ SBL

we will be flying from KL to vientiane then to Luang Prabang. Then a boat ride to the village. Quite a crazy and long trip compared to our udon thani one. =)

Eman Rohe said...

I remember 2 other names!!! haha!! Pao and Nui.

"I smile when needed, what is it like to smile unconsciously,the way you do."

Aiyoh...got so jialat meh? Throw off all barriers between you and the other and it is immediately clear.

And I too think we should go send Zhihan they all off!!!!

Ah...Remember sleeping in the airport...Zhihan's family came, mk's friends.....Zzzzz....taking pics with the colourful backgrnd...eating at the whateva eatery...

Anonymous said...

hee. i'm hungry thinking of those yummy pratas!! yumyum. miss the paddle pops, tuktuk rides, payong payong, my roomie... and the ants :P haha.