Parallels & Ironies

Part of an e-mail correspondence:

I said, “…So it is kind of a self-conscious sort of writing. I write with a person/people in mind and this person/people direct my thoughts, or the choice of words I use. Whenever I think of a certain audience, I morph into that person or group of people. I don't write to appeal to them though; it's just that I feel that that my writing becomes pretentious. Again, not that I write things I disagree with, but it feels like almost another person entering me, taking over me and writing on my behalf.”

He said, “…As for audience – I often have an imagined ideal reader for whom I write. An imagined someone with whom I would want to have an intimate and intelligent conversation. I have been fortunate enough to have friends, themselves writers, with whom such a conversation is possible and enriching – both in real life and in writing. Sometimes it is a specific person, but more often than not the object of my communication is a sort of spirit than flesh. Poetry for me is both conversation and meditation; some might use the word prayer. ”

When I read this reply, I didn’t give it much thought, read it once and that was it. But just as I was checking my Inbox tonight and ritually clearing my mail, I chanced upon it and read it again. It made me think about two things: writing and living. Writing is strange because I am never writing for myself; I do not write a line or two, a poem, a story, chuck it in my drawer for personal reading. It is always a pouring of emotions for others to feel ah this is real stuff I can relate to.

Ironically though, writing for others, more often than not, becomes a personal discovery (what a disgustingly overused word but can’t find another one to replace this) process. And in living life, we’re never really living for ourselves. But when we live for others, we reciprocally gain ourselves. I imagine many cynical eyebrows raised but I shan’t challenge that…

On another note, I realized that when I am too eager to challenge something, I fail to capture the bigger picture. Durkheim has won me over a little. I do believe that religion is social, that rituals function to re-affirm the beliefs that the community of believers hold, that religious force is collective effervescence acting on people. And in acknowledging all that, the flaws in his theory are almost jumping out waving to me, how he has failed to see society as being made up of people of different class, race/ethnicity, gender, rather than a homogenous entity. He has forgotten that people make sense of the world they live in differently, attach individualised meanings to the same phenomena, he has completely discredited subjectivity…Sigh, all hail Weber.

delirious

(with joy)

Life is such a treat every single day.

“This is pretty much how we find time – we beg, borrow and more often steal it from our budget of 24hours (usually losing sleep in the process).”

And I realize that when we’re doing what we like, we forget to sleep!

Because every single night, life is lived better than the day before.